‘Meat Council Pronouncements’ by Judy Prince
Pork has chosen to call itself gammon exclusively.
It has also marketed a new dish called Gammon Stew
containing 90 grams of potato to 1 gram of gammon.
These Gammon Stews sell especially well now that Pork
has decreed peas and onions unnecessary.
Beef continues to enjoy the name “Steak” despite being mostly fat
and gristle. Steak and Mushroom pies pride themselves on not being
pasties.
Chicken refuses to have its name changed despite having grown
a third leg in industrially advanced countries, thus putting hens
at a slight nesting disadvantage, though speeding up free-range chickens.
Lamb cannot decide whether to make any decisions. Sheep agree.
